Someone who likes fashion? Someone uncomplicated, who won’t try to date with you, or compete with you for dates? Someone sassy and original? Someone caring and good at listening? Someone to show off as a symbol of how trendy or progressive you are? Think about the qualities you would like your friend to have, such as being supportive, kind, thoughtful, funny, or honest. [1] X Research source Connecting with others who have similar values like you can go a long way toward making good friendships. [2] X Research source
Do you want a lover of fashion? Find friendly faces at malls or beauty parlors. Do you want someone uncomplicated? Look for an honest person with healthy self-esteem, who won’t play games. Do you want someone fun? Look for someone with a flashy, spontaneous personality. Do you want someone to listen to you and care? Look for an understanding, loving person with a more mature attitude. Do you want someone to show off? Stop and look at your motivations, because trying to turn a person into a trophy isn’t how a healthy friendship begins.
Have you ever been stereotyped? Do you remember being hurt, angry, or confused? You don’t want to do that to a friend (or anyone). Even if you “mean it in a nice way. “[7] X Research source Pressuring someone to fit the stereotype isn’t fair, and may make them feel like they aren’t allowed to be themselves around you. [8] X Research source Make sure your friendship is mutual. While you might be seeking fashion or relationship advice, witty conversation and self-esteem boosting or any other sources of support, your friend is also looking for your support and advice. Be prepared to love, spoil and defend your friend. [11] X Research source Derek Blasberg, Classy, pp. 126-127, (2010), ISBN 978-59514-279-5
Just because someone doesn’t want to be friends doesn’t make you or them a bad person. Maybe they’re busy, too introverted to want more friends than they already have, or just not a great fit for you personally. Nobody likes a condescending person who thinks that anyone who knows them should feel grateful. If this is your underlying motivation, any friendship you form will be doomed to fail.
Your best friend should be someone who gets your sense of humor or understands your love of animals, for example. A best friend doesn’t judge you when you are down and knows exactly what to do to pick you up. In turn, you don’t judge either and you are prepared to pitch in when your friend’s life is down. You’ll get each other’s jokes and want to share secrets because you know you can trust the other person. Trust is very important in any relationship, so be sure to develop this from the outset.
Work. Work can be a great place to meet new friends since there’s either a good chance you both have a passion for what you do or can share moans and groans about the job together. School and varsity. In addition to certain clubs, you may find new friends who are studying the same major as you in high school or college. In fact, there’s a good chance you could meet some interesting people working on group projects or studying for exams in English or history class. Clubs, volunteering, and sports. These are great ways to find people with common interests. Bookstores, libraries, and universities. These sometimes sponsor lectures and discussions that can help you find people with common interests. Gyms. Social clubs and nightclubs. Spend time in places where people socialize. Hairstylists, fashion consultants, and retailers. Look for friendly lovers of fashion. If you get along well with someone, offer to see them socially as well as professionally. Friends of friends. Many people love to play “friendship matchmaker,” and would be happy to introduce you to someone who they feel might get along with you. Think about the activities you enjoy doing, be active in pursuing those activities, and try to be open to starting up conversations with people you meet while taking part in those activities. [10] X Research source
Be a good listener. Perhaps your friend is going through a tough time or is trying to work out their own relationship issues. Remember that it’s a give and take relationship, with your supportive input being just as vital. Don’t stereotype. If your new friend is gay, they won’t automatically like fashion, shopping, or other stereotypical interests. Take time to know them for who they are, and find what you have in common. Take an interest in their passions or dreams. One of the great aspects of friendship is sharing common interests while also learning more about each other’s. For example, if your friend is a marathon runner, be the number one cheerleader at the finish line or attempt to enter one yourself. Or, if beach clean-up efforts are your friend’s passion, be the first one at the beach with rake in hand. Support them. During times of crisis, who do you turn to? Your best friend, of course. Be the kind of BFF that your new friend can lean on and depend upon during times of crisis or emergency.
It may be worth asking them who they’ve come out to. For example, maybe they’re out at school and with their sister, but not with the rest of their family.
